You’re literally the only thing on my mind and its sick. I don’t remember how or when I became addicted, but I know with you, because of you, I’m always pretty lifted. Please. Give me a reason why I should trust you after this: you have me so in love with you I feel like this is it. And I’m scared shitless. I can’t replace you, no one fits in your spot. So salty, so savory, so similar. We’re like potato chips and tater tots. I probably care more than I should, but like I said… I need some Vicks. So close. Your heart gave me an uncommon cold. I can’t be at work sick. Sorry, I just can’t fold.
Its almost like…
I enjoy to suffocate, you take my breathe away.
We were talking about bugs; how they’re different from us and unique in body form compared to animals, yet similar in that our hearts and brains are in separate places. But what if our hearts and brains were in the same boat? Not only does that rarely happen, I wonder how much harder it would be to love someone. Or how easy it would be to make any decision. “Follow your heart and listen to your mind.”
In other words, don’t ignore your conscience and know the meaning behind your heart palpitations. You can’t over think love because it comes and goes. But you can over love yourself, even someone else…As long as they’re in-tune with both voices at once too. I think that’s why are main organs are in separate places: we’d be too stressed to handle all the emotional thought processes that our brain and heart travel through daily, at once.
And what if we could? How much more free, efficient and loving could we fully be as humans? Are we able to center ourselves while surrounded by constant overwhelming streams of consciousness and turn-taking heart break?
…Maybe thats why our future selves have larger heads and brains overall, to connect on a level we can’t reach with our diminished intellectual capacity.
Its nice to have the day to yourself and be able to forget it by going to sleep and starting over again. Sundays are the Mondays that people want to have. I’ve never felt so lost or words. Looking out the window, watching trees blow in the window and the sunshine beam onto the parked cars, I realize its only Sunday. Sundays are meant for innocent thoughts and actions. Brain relaxation and re-cooperation for the next week. It doesn’t even feel like the weekend I don’t have weekends anymore, I never knew how much I appreciated a Sunday, or what Sunday stood for. But now I know that today its okay for my mind to wander a lot, to be lost for words. Everyone should have a good Sunday, like a good Friday. Today is not meant to be negative. The sun comes out on Sunday, even though its pouring rain. People forget that Saturday night was last night and Monday morning is tomorrow. Sunday is preparation. As my thoughts flow onto the keyboard I also forget what I want to say as it blows in the wind. The beauty of earth and life on Sunday is so intriguing. Its beautiful to know the day exists for everyone and tomorrow it doesn’t matter because its going to be new.
I always over think. Overtime, I learned that my thoughts lead to my actions. I tend to over react. Most of the processes I go through are streams of consciousness which is even more difficult to deal. That means that I over think and over react about nothing, but me. Even if there is “something,” that triggers my mind, that original thought leads onto internal tangents that more than likely cause powerful migraines before I even finish my conclusion. And as my brain energy decreases and my heart stops racing I’m suddenly stuck-
trying to remember what the hell I was doing. At work. at school. And at home. Some times I feel like a snail who’s actually scared of their own inside voice. Anytime I rub myself the wrong way I hide from the constant interpersonal criticism until my conscience shuts up. I can only come out my shell once I’ve centered myself and that can take minutes, to hours, to days. I plan to become a slug someday with nowhere and no need to hide. Then, I will be worthy of the open mind I do have and I won’t use it against my own abilities to be consciously happy.