Just when I think I’ve swam to the surface, I get sunk in. I miss you. I wish you could walk in and surprise me at my job right now. I miss your smile. I just want to keep crying now and I don’t know what to do about it. Do it I let it out and let myself sulk… or do I hold it in and act like it isn’t real… because it ins’t. Is it? I wish I could talk to someone. But no one really cares. No one knows… the love I have for you. I feel empty. Even more so now that I can’t rely on another “friend” to distract me fro the fact that my only friend isn’t around. Why do I think like this and act as thought I’m never going to see you again? I guess I know how he feels, that his mother won’t try to talk to him… but she loves him. And that’s why she cant do it. It almost feels like I don’t have a mom. But, unfortunately I don’t have my priorities together as much I think I do. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. But I’m trying to be the one that you can be proud of.