I always over think. Overtime, I learned that my thoughts lead to my actions. I tend to over react. Most of the processes I go through are streams of consciousness which is even more difficult to deal. That means that I over think and over react about nothing, but me. Even if there is “something,” that triggers my mind, that original thought leads onto internal tangents that more than likely cause powerful migraines before I even finish my conclusion. And as my brain energy decreases and my heart stops racing I’m suddenly stuck-
trying to remember what the hell I was doing. At work. at school. And at home. Some times I feel like a snail who’s actually scared of their own inside voice. Anytime I rub myself the wrong way I hide from the constant interpersonal criticism until my conscience shuts up. I can only come out my shell once I’ve centered myself and that can take minutes, to hours, to days. I plan to become a slug someday with nowhere and no need to hide. Then, I will be worthy of the open mind I do have and I won’t use it against my own abilities to be consciously happy.